Gruesome Offerings Directed By Ted Raimi

Your’s truly on Fearnet

Afternoon, Kiddies!

While stumbling around the dark bowers of the inter webs I stumbled upon this Fearnet article written by Tim Lammers about yours truly!

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Accion Estupendo!

Evening!

Here is a comedy short I directed a few years ago ( I think I watch too much Univision).

Violencia muy divertido y una excelente!

I bring you… El Marco! Man Of Action!

 

 

 

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Ted in talks to create new show

Hello, Kiddies!

Yours truly is in talks this week to create a new horror show for the small screen.

‘Nuff said for now.

Stay tuned and remember to keep the bedroom closet light on ( otherwise, how will I be able to read?).

Grimly yours,

Ted

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Hello Kiddies!

Welcome to Ted Raimi dot com!

Whatever that may mean.

Three months ago, while sitting on floor of my musty attic,  I had quite a thought:

I had been swimming in piles of moldy paper, pens and discarded book binders when I scowled and wondered, “why isn’t anybody responding to my notes and letters? I mail and mail and mail. I know! They are indolent shmoes who cannot see the value of my fine work! That is why they are not responding!”

Then, David Royal made his way to my attic ( I hate when people sneak into my home – disposing of bodies is exhausting)  and suggested that more people would see it if I would somehow electronically publish these bits on something called ” A web”. He said he was a “master of a web”.

He could tell spiders what to do?  Poor boy.

” David,” I said as I sadly patted his shoulder ” you must be hallucinatory.  Now why would typing the same thing into my IBM Selectra typewriter make any difference? Think! I mean, sure I could type it faster, but, sheesh!  It’s like you just fell off the hearse wagon.”

David was about to respond when I held my hand up to his face. “Now just sit down, Dave, you must be tired”.

He shook his head, picked up some of my papers (gently removing a small, dead mouse from the top)  and told me that now many more folks would see my scribblings.

What a strange fellow.

Still, my pens work, my typewriter clacks resoundingly and, really, I’m glad I didn’t use him to fertilize my nasturtiums.

They didn’t need it anyway. They are a delicious red color now.

Grimly yours,

Ted

 

 

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